Melissa McLean Montgomery

Well if I'm going to criticize my friend for being a clutter hound, I better put my money where my mouth is. So I have spent the last week downsizing. Again. I filled my friend's car with stuff and dropped it all off ( not the car ) at the local thrift store. Boy, does it feel good! I gave away so much and I still have so much. The music that made the cut was: 1. Cesaria Evora- Miss Perfumado 2. Marlene Dietrich- Falling in Love Again 3. Oscar Petersen- Live from Chicago 4. Herb Alpert- A Taste of Honey 5. Sade- Lovers Rock 6. Edith Piaf- The Voice of the Sparrow

I have just spent the last 4 days helping a friend move. I am exhausted but happy since she is very greatful. I enjoy helping people in their time of need. I really do. You certainly find out who your friends are when you move: who shows up, who doesn't and who is the most critical: ( for example friends who say repeatedly during the move : " Why do you have so much junk? God!" natter natter natter ) I have realized a few things during the move that I would like share: 1. My definition of organized is not everyone else's 2. Everyone thinks they are organized 3. Having more than 100 plants can be a health hazard 4. There is no such thing as one mouse 5. Rocks that cost 1000 dollars ( yes, that's $1000 ) are still a pain in the ass to move 6. 3 people can fit in a fully packed 2 seater jeep

Yesterday I waited 35 minutes for someone. He was supposed to arrive at 5pm. He arrived LATE at 5:35pm. No apology. No excuse. No acknowledgment. Grrrr. In my world, 5 is 5. If I make arrangements or have an appointment to meet someone or be somewhere at 5pm I usually arrive at 4:50pm. I'm so perfect. I don't understand lateness! It's bad planning. Bad etiquitte. I called the tardy man at 5:15 and was told he was halfway across town and was 'on his way'. How could you be on your way to somewhere where you were supposed to be 15 minutes ago? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I cleaned out my closet. Again. It's full of crap, stuff, and brand new items that I have never worn. What was I thinking of when I bought a tent-sized baby caca smock? Why do I have a pair of size 7 grey Italian pumps when my feet are a size 9? I'm off to a clothing swap today . I hope everyone's stuff is a nice as mine ( sometimes people bring stained and torn old clothes- I mean come ON, what makes you think anyone would want to wear that? ) and that I can get a few black or grey pieces. Black and grey are my new reds. And, I have to bring an appetizer. Chips.

Why don't people signal when they change lanes? I could never eat canned salmon - and I live here! I'm glad I have never had to fight in a war. I'm basically a big chicken. I'm going to Sears tommorrow. My Grandfather fought at Vimy Ridge. I love hot milk. And my heating pad. I'm getting up at 7am tommorrow- and it's Sunday! I saw a really famous sports broadcaster this week - but I don't know his name.

It is only 11.11.11 once in a lifetime. I made a wish today whilst I was at the Chevron station . Meaningful. I don't do New Year's Resolutions: I don't need to lose weight, quit anything and I think resolutions set one up for failure. Plus, I'm pretty darn happy with myself and my life. Here's to all my fabulous Blog followers! Have a fabulous NEW year! You deserve the best.

Memories of Dysfunction and Xmas Drama past: It's family time. For some this means joy, for most it means returning home and dealing with the devil. Below are some choice examples. ( I have left out names to protect both the innocent and their divilgers ) 1. A sister who left a restaurant and sat in the car because she wasn't consulted that she and her siblings would be picking up the Xmas dinner cheque for her parents. She pouted for 3 days. 2. A father who greeted his son ( who hadn't been home for Xmas in 7 years ) at the door with , " You idiot! Why did you cross the front lawn? There's snow on your shoes ! " 3. A mother, who, still in her nightie at 3pm, screamed at her daughter ( in front of company ), " I told you too keep the goddamn cat off the turkey! " 4. A sister who screamed at the table, " Mom! Give me my food so I can get out of here!" 5. A cousin put her new china nativity set on the mantle piece. As the Catholic family me...