Melissa McLean Montgomery

Holiday reminder: in this time of wretched and lovely excess, remember not to complain too loudly if your latte isn't hot enough, or if the person in the car in front of you signals left and then turns right. These are First World Problems. I first heard this expression a month ago from my neighbor, complaining that her Facebook privacy settings wouldn't behave . " I know, I know.....First World Problem!" she declared to me in an email. I immediately took to this expression and now when I'm feeling stressed, scared, or impatient in the lineup at Safeway, I remind my self I don't have to walk miles to get water and that I have a warm bed , a flush toilet and food in the fridge. Happy Holidays!

Parties are fun but they are a lot of work, especially if you are hosting. Lunch for 60 ain't easy. My feet are tired but my belly is full. And the leftovers, oh the leftovers!

My grandfather Gordon Spencer, fought in the First World War. He fought at Vimy Ridge. He was lucky to come back alive. He was blind for a year from mustard gas poisoning. Then he got his sight back. He had a weeping rash on his neck that never went away. My dad was born in 1931. My dad told me his dad never talked about the war. I wear a poppy every year for my Grandad. Because of him, I am here.

Dealing with the mentally insane/unstable/senile requires truckloads of patience. And I mean a big truck, not a small Datsun. Just when you think you're home free, quiet, time to get stuff done, they find their way to you to harass/harangue/annoy/test/try you yet again with the same questions they asked you earlier. It's OK, I'm sane, I can deal with it. I can't help it and neither can they.

After battling the flu for one week I am an expert on: tissues ( where to get them on sale ) , channel surfing whilst checking emails and coughing uncontrollably, dispatching orders for tea, more soup, and sweating gracefully. I think I'm the perfect patient but my partner disagrees.

I'm watching The Prince and the Showgirl. I enjoy escaping and entering the lovely world of TCM. It's my drug of choice. Gorgeous movies, uncut and commercial free. Its almost as good as any Royal wedding ( Royal weddings are better because they are real). The movie tells the story of a haughty prince who possibly, maybey falls in love with an outrageous showgirl. It has everything, politics, intrigue, international travel, a wedding and comedy ( a fat lady in waiting!)

I downsized again. Anyone who follows this wee blog will know that downsizing is an ongoing theme. I filled up my friend's car and headed to the Salvation Army. Plus, I sold a bunch of stuff. I find it relaxing and there is a sense of renewal when I let things go. I am ready for whatever comes next.

Last night, I went to a party for my friend that died. Monique wanted all of her friends to have a Celebration of Life party for her after she was gone. And we did. it was great to see old friends, reconnect, drink and dance! If you look in the upper left hand corner of this photo, you will see Monique was indeed there!

Silence at 4:32 am sounds like,: a baby crying, a tom cat wailing, a crow cawing, a fan whirring, indoor aparmtent cats chasing, me tossing, me turning, hubby breathing, something faraway beeping, why am I not sleeping?

I ate a lot of cheese last night. It was so good. And edamame beans, and seven layer dip. I could never have an eating disorder because I love food too much. I love everything except for organ food and shellfish. And lamb's head stew.

I said last year that I wanted to start my Christmas shopping in July. And here I am in July. But honestly, I'd really rather be outside at the beach or in my garden. who has time to shop when it is so glorious out of doors? I am cat sitting this week and am really enjoying sitting outside with the kitties as they frolic about. More importantly, I am REALLY enjoying using my friend's washing machine. It is super. My clothes are so clean . And her machine uses less water and electricity than most. It's the best. Maybey I'll ask for one for Christmas.

Well! My " Idiot " posting had several ( well, 2 ) comments both signed Anonymous. NOTE: If you are going to leave a comment on my blog have the balls / ovaries to leave your name. Otherwise don't bother. If you think I am not 'compassionate' because I don't talk to crazy people, get a life. Maybey I'll give crazy lady YOUR email and YOU can be friends with her and let her unleashed dog approach your agressive, leashed dog. Idiot! Then YOU can pay her vet bill when she sues you. Or you don't have to read my blog at all.

Summer is here! My birthday is on the first day of summer. It's a great day to be born. I had a fantastic day, eating out for breakfast lunch and dinner as was my birthday mandate. Another year, older and wiser. I hope.

To the witch who had her dog and cat off leash outside the community centre this morning : I have a life , thank you very much and it does not include you. I want to walk my husband to the bus stop in the morning with my dog ( who is on a leash as per the By-law 9150 ) . I don't want to 'socialise' with you - neither does my dog . Or my husband. Just because you have a dog it doesn't mean we have to 'socialise' with you. When told of the By-law 9150, you responded that it did not apply to you. Really? You must be from another planet. Or dimension. It is idiots like you that gives all dog owners a bad name. There you are at 8:15 am, hanging out outside the community centre with your dog and cat, with nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to talk to, not a human being in sight. It is YOU that needs a life. Desperately. I hope you get the large fine you so rightfully deserve. Oh, wait, I guess the law doesn't apply to you, you witch! And your little dog,

I miss my friend. I knew she was going to die but now that it has happenned I am sad. I went downtown and I passed by her apartment. It was a strange feeling; knowing I will never go into that building again. That chapter of my life is over. She is gone. Sudden death is no easier to contend with. My father died suddenly and without warning. That wasn't any easier. It ain't easy no matter which way way you slice it.

My dear friend passed on last night. A reminder to enjoy every sandwich, sunrise and everything life has to offer.

During my sojourn in this fair city, I have reconnected with many people. People from my past, present and future. It has been such an amazing trip. I feel like I have been on a big adventure. Montreal truly is my second home. Connections are important to me because without them, I have no one to share the good times with. When times are tragic, if I can share it, I can get through it. Know what I mean? We have been feasting, packing and entertaining ourselves silly. It will be time to leave this fabulous city soon, and I will take with me this experience and everything I have learned during my time here: past, present and future.

The Sally and the shredder has come and gone. Praise the Lord. What more can I say except I love getting rid of stuff and I love going out for lunch after its gone. I am here for another month and it is time to enjoy and get the hell out of the basement! No more cardboard and tape! Today's photo was taken at my friend's place in Napierville, which is just outside the city. I can see clearly now the crap has gone.

The Salvation Army has come and gone. Thank you, God. The guys who drive the truck know us by name now. Thanks, Christopher for the title of today's post. We went to a concert on Saturday night. Before it started, a pastor who had been working in Tanzania spoke to us about life in an orphange there . One hundred children in two rooms. No running water or electricity. And here we are in the west with so much stuff we trip over it, dust it and give it away. For nothing. Our pets are on diet food because they are so fat. It made me think about what I have - I have so much. Some days I wish I had nothing; except the company of people. That is true richness- being around people that you love and love to be with.

This is one of my favourite lines from one of my favourite books, " Diary of a Mad Housewife". The movie is also excellent. Bettina's lover George says it to her in a moment of frustration: "Don't you ever use the shoebox full of immies you have for a brain?" Boy, I can relate. I'm back in Montreal helping my dear mother downsize. Don't you just want to ask someone directly WHY they have done this or that ? For example ...why do you have 10 chairs when you live alone? Why do you have a rubberband collection? And why, oh why is everything imaginable hanging from a string/clothespin/hook/ contraption? An immy by the way is a marble. Maybe she can get her inventions into Popular Mechanics.

Well if I'm going to criticize my friend for being a clutter hound, I better put my money where my mouth is. So I have spent the last week downsizing. Again. I filled my friend's car with stuff and dropped it all off ( not the car ) at the local thrift store. Boy, does it feel good! I gave away so much and I still have so much. The music that made the cut was: 1. Cesaria Evora- Miss Perfumado 2. Marlene Dietrich- Falling in Love Again 3. Oscar Petersen- Live from Chicago 4. Herb Alpert- A Taste of Honey 5. Sade- Lovers Rock 6. Edith Piaf- The Voice of the Sparrow

I have just spent the last 4 days helping a friend move. I am exhausted but happy since she is very greatful. I enjoy helping people in their time of need. I really do. You certainly find out who your friends are when you move: who shows up, who doesn't and who is the most critical: ( for example friends who say repeatedly during the move : " Why do you have so much junk? God!" natter natter natter ) I have realized a few things during the move that I would like share: 1. My definition of organized is not everyone else's 2. Everyone thinks they are organized 3. Having more than 100 plants can be a health hazard 4. There is no such thing as one mouse 5. Rocks that cost 1000 dollars ( yes, that's $1000 ) are still a pain in the ass to move 6. 3 people can fit in a fully packed 2 seater jeep

Yesterday I waited 35 minutes for someone. He was supposed to arrive at 5pm. He arrived LATE at 5:35pm. No apology. No excuse. No acknowledgment. Grrrr. In my world, 5 is 5. If I make arrangements or have an appointment to meet someone or be somewhere at 5pm I usually arrive at 4:50pm. I'm so perfect. I don't understand lateness! It's bad planning. Bad etiquitte. I called the tardy man at 5:15 and was told he was halfway across town and was 'on his way'. How could you be on your way to somewhere where you were supposed to be 15 minutes ago? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I cleaned out my closet. Again. It's full of crap, stuff, and brand new items that I have never worn. What was I thinking of when I bought a tent-sized baby caca smock? Why do I have a pair of size 7 grey Italian pumps when my feet are a size 9? I'm off to a clothing swap today . I hope everyone's stuff is a nice as mine ( sometimes people bring stained and torn old clothes- I mean come ON, what makes you think anyone would want to wear that? ) and that I can get a few black or grey pieces. Black and grey are my new reds. And, I have to bring an appetizer. Chips.

Why don't people signal when they change lanes? I could never eat canned salmon - and I live here! I'm glad I have never had to fight in a war. I'm basically a big chicken. I'm going to Sears tommorrow. My Grandfather fought at Vimy Ridge. I love hot milk. And my heating pad. I'm getting up at 7am tommorrow- and it's Sunday! I saw a really famous sports broadcaster this week - but I don't know his name.

It is only 11.11.11 once in a lifetime. I made a wish today whilst I was at the Chevron station . Meaningful. I don't do New Year's Resolutions: I don't need to lose weight, quit anything and I think resolutions set one up for failure. Plus, I'm pretty darn happy with myself and my life. Here's to all my fabulous Blog followers! Have a fabulous NEW year! You deserve the best.